desperatedaisy

INSIDE I’M SCREAMING!

In Uncategorized on September 24, 2011 at 12:31 am

Desperate Daisy,the ramblings of a woman who has lost the plot!

Here I sit typing in the dark at silly O clock with swollen eyes from crying over what?? Where do I start?

The cause of tonight’s upset,the leaving of my middle child for Uni,2nd year.Last year was bad enough,18 years of loving and caring for a child and then throwing him out into the wide world and realising I had done little to prepare him!!Off he went full of excitement and a case full of Pot Noodles,new clothes new stationary and a new duvet cover,just like starting little school really,except Ninja Turtles had been replaced by a black and white geometric creation and the uniform now consisted of baggy jeans,T-shirts with gothic images and instead of shiny new Clarke’s with velcro straps a pair of size10 Vans! Set him free I told myself,he will be fine said everyone else that I had bored rigid with my worries and fears.But no I couldn’t and no he wasnt,my gangly boy spent months of lonely hours trying to fit in and make new friends and a new life in a new town too far from me to be able to visit.To say I missed him is an understatement,I sat in his room and cried a bucket of tears daily,but eventually we both adjusted and I began to worry less,the little book I had made him with an idiots guide of” how 2″ came in handy and all I got was the occasional call asking “is it ok to wash my socks with my shirts” bless! On my birthday he sent me a lovely little card,those plastic ones like a credit card,it said love you Mum,it was better than winning the lottery and I will treasure it always,then on Mothers Day 3 coasters with Meercats on them?Random but thoughtful.The rest of the year passed with a broken heart and a huge phone bill,we got through him and I and I relished the fact that he still needed me and that we were good friends too.

So what the hell happened?

This summer the devil stole my lovely child and sent home one of his sons!!!

I have for the last 3 months lived with a stranger who knows everything says nothing and lives the life of a paying guest at a seaside B+B without the paying bit! He returns to Uni tomorrow/today and he can’t wait,I will drop him off and cry all the way home and pray that next holiday the Devil returns my child to me,but I’m not holding my breath! rumour has it he keeps them for at least 2yrs.I love that boy more than life itself,but  for now I have to stand well back and hope that one day he will understand why when Mum dropped him off she kept her sunglasses on even though it was eight o’clock at night!

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